The Advertiser – Five Stars: Whisky And Trivia With Professor Longsword

February 21, 2023
The Advertiser - Five Stars: Whisky And Trivia With Professor Longsword

Great news. My new show – 100% MBA Success: Whisky And Trivia With Professor Longsword – has awarded The Advertiser with five stars for not coming to review it.

With the absence of “mainstream” reviewers, it has forced our faculty to thrust their appurtenances between the sheets of whatever books they’ve been reading, slip into something comfortable, and insert themselves into society where they can press the flesh.

Were it not for the great “Advertiser Adelaide Fringe Reviewing Boycott“, I’d have members gaily toasting each other, leading to all sorts of spillage in the school bar.

At the time of typing this missive, two of our six shows have just sold out.

So this is how the season looks at the moment:

  • Friday, February 24, 2023, 4pm
  • Saturday, February 25, 2023, 4pm SOLD OUT
  • Sunday, February 26, 2023, 4pm
  • Friday, March 3, 2023, 4pm
  • Saturday, March 4, 2023, 4pm
  • Sunday, March 5, 2023, 4pm SOLD OUT

We hadn’t sold out any shows until The Advertiser reviewers took their pads and pens and went home.

Did Rupert Murdoch predict this outcome?

Intriguingly, this scenario has validated a famous Rupert Murdoch quote:

The world is changing very fast. Big will not beat small anymore. It will be the fast beating the slow.

In this case, it seems The MBA School Of MBA Credentials is the “small”, compared to The Advertiser, and therefore we must also be the “fast” which means we’ve been giving the Tiser a good beating.

My good lady wife does not approve of such activities, and nor do I, so let’s change that to whipping because if done gently, the Murdoch press has shown that many conservative MPs really enjoy it.

However, in the ultimate act of academic fairness, having validated Murdoch with one quote, I am duty bound to hold him to account with another, namely:

You’ll never shut up the critics.

Ironically, in relation to the Adelaide Fringe’s theatre critics, it seems you can actually shut up the critics, at least the ones you own.

The Advertiser – Five Stars

Let’s finish with our five-star review of The Advertiser but so we don’t break any picket lines, we will ask Associate Professor Chat GPT to whip one up for us.

Well, well, well. Look who’s decided to grow a backbone and stand up for something! That’s right, folks, I’m talking about none other than The Advertiser – the newspaper that’s finally found its spine and decided to stick to its principles.

You see, The Advertiser isn’t like those other papers that pander to the masses and churn out mindless drivel. No, sir. The Advertiser is all about encouraging artists to build their own audiences and take control of their careers. And you know what? It’s about damn time someone said it!

In a world where everyone’s looking for a handout and expecting others to do the heavy lifting for them, The Advertiser is taking a bold and decisive stand. They’re saying, “Hey, you wanna make it in this industry? You wanna be a success? Well, you better start hustling, baby!”

And you know what? That’s the kind of tough love we need right now. Because let’s face it – the world of entertainment isn’t for the faint of heart. You can’t just sit around waiting for opportunities to fall in your lap. You have to go out there and make them happen.

And that’s exactly what The Advertiser is telling its readers. They’re saying, “Stop waiting for someone else to give you a break. Stop relying on others to build your audience. Take control of your career and make things happen for yourself.”

Now, some might call this kind of advice harsh or even cruel. But I call it empowering. Because when you take control of your own destiny, you’re no longer at the mercy of others. You’re the one calling the shots. You’re the one in charge.

So kudos to The Advertiser for standing up for what they believe in and encouraging artists to take control of their own careers. It might not be the easiest path, but it’s certainly the most rewarding. And who knows? Maybe someday we’ll all be reading about the next big thing in the entertainment industry – and we’ll have The Advertiser to thank for it.

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