In today’s fast-paced business world, traditional education methods just don’t cut it anymore. That’s why the MBA School of MBA Credentials has made the revolutionary decision to adopt AI Automated Learning processes, and it’s paying off big time.
Gone are the days of boring lectures delivered by tired professors. Instead, our lectures are carefully crafted by a team of expert prompt engineers, ensuring that every word is perfectly tailored to the modern business student. And let’s be real, who has time for lectures anyway? With our AI automated learning program, you can learn at your own pace, whether that’s at 3am or during your morning commute.
But it’s not just lectures that we’ve automated. Our students also have the opportunity to write their papers in an “assisted” learning environment. This means that our AI algorithms will provide suggestions and guidance, making sure that every paper is top-notch. Instead of spending hours staring at a blank page, our “assisted” learning program makes the words flow, while you sip one of our school’s curated drinks, primarily single malt whiskies or our signature drink, The 4Ps Cocktail.
And when it comes to grading, we’ve also done away with the subjective opinions of professors. Instead, our grades are awarded our AI professors, based on an open and transparent formula, that measures your academic achievement in proportion to the size of your financial contribution to our school. You know exactly what you need to do to achieve your degree with no more worrying about the professor’s personal bias.
Quotes from our happy alumni, generated by our AI Automated Learning system
“I got my MBA from the MBA School of MBA Credentials and let me tell you, it was a game changer. I didn’t even have to leave my mansion to get my degree. #winning” – Kim Kardashian
“I’ve always been a fan of efficiency, and the MBA School of MBA Credentials delivers just that. I got my MBA in record time and all I had to do was sit back and relax. #lazygenius” – Mark Zuckerberg
“I was able to get my MBA while on tour! The MBA School of MBA Credentials made it possible for me to get an education and still rock the stage. #multitasking” – Beyoncé
“I never thought getting an MBA would be so easy and enjoyable, but the MBA School of MBA Credentials proved me wrong. I got my degree while sipping on a martini. #classy” – George Clooney
“I got my MBA from the MBA School of MBA Credentials and it was a breeze! I didn’t even have to read a book. #mindblown” – Paris Hilton
An MBA is more than just a grade, it’s an experience
But it’s not just about the grades, it’s about the overall experience. Do you want to spend years in a stuffy classroom, listening to lectures and writing papers? With our automated learning program, you can get your MBA in a fraction of the time, and with a fraction of the effort.
In 2023, you can earn your degree in 90 minutes at Studio 99 Art and Whisky, a whisky bar (and our new campus) in Port Adelaide. During this graduation ceremony, we supplement the hard work your AI professors are doing in the background, by giving you the educational theatre of sitting an exam. But we do this in the form of a trivia quiz night. Hint: If you choose option C, you’ll get every question right! Enrollments online here.
Some may argue that automation takes away the humanity and creativity from education. However, as the famous literary character, Holden Caulfield from J.D. Salinger’s “The Catcher in the Rye,” says, “I don’t know, I just like to take everything apart and see how it works.” And that’s exactly what we’re doing at the MBA School of MBA Credentials, taking apart the traditional education system and seeing how it can be improved with the help of technology.
Another literary character, from George Orwell’s “1984,” reminds us of the importance of constantly adapting to new technologies and ways of thinking. “He who controls the present, controls the past. He who controls the past, controls the future.” And that’s what we’re doing at the MBA School of MBA Credentials, controlling our own future by embracing the use of technology in education.
Worldwide debate and reflection on our innovative approach to tertiary education
As the great futurist and entrepreneur, Elon Musk, once said, “Artificial intelligence is the future, not only for Russia, but for all humankind… It comes with colossal opportunities, but also threats that are difficult to predict. Whoever becomes the leader in this sphere will become the ruler of the world.” And we at the MBA School of MBA Credentials are determined to be that leader.
Another great thinker, Peter Thiel, co-founder of Paypal, also emphasizes the importance of technology in education. He states, “We’re in a world where technology is becoming increasingly important, and education is becoming increasingly obsolete. So, the question is how do we create a new system of education that is better suited to the technological age?” We humbly submit that our approach is what Peter is looking for.
Likewise, as renowned philosopher and mathematician, Alan Turing, once said, “We can only see a short distance ahead, but we can see plenty there that needs to be done.” And we can attest that when you are a few shelves deep into the whisky bar exam hall, you do see more than you first thought; at least double.
While the MBA School of MBA Credentials’ decision to automate its learning process may seem innovative and efficient, there are those who argue that it is a detrimental approach to education. Famous philosophers such as Friedrich Nietzsche have long argued that true education should foster individuality and creativity, not suppress it.
Nietzsche believed that “the individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself” In other words, true education should empower the individual, not reduce them to a formulaic process. You pay, you graduate; nothing is as open and empowering as that!
Whisky distillers applaud the move
Be that as it may, critics are missing the point if they think that time should be devoted to classrooms. As a worldwide chorus of distillers will attest, time is best spent cellaring the great elixr of learning; whisky.
“We’ve always known that whisky is the water of life, but the MBA School of MBA Credentials has taken it to a whole new level. Cheers to the new era of education!” – Johnnie Walker
“At Macallan, we’ve always believed that a dram or two can enhance any experience. The MBA School of MBA Credentials has proven that it can even improve education. Keep on sipping and learning!” – Macallan
“We’ve always known that whisky is not just a drink, but an experience. The MBA School of MBA Credentials has elevated it to the status of an elixir of learning. A toast to the future of education!” – Jack Daniel’s
“We’ve been making whisky for centuries, and we’ve never seen it being used in such a unique way. The MBA School of MBA Credentials has truly set a new standard for education. Salud!” – José Cuervo
“We’ve always known that whisky is the perfect companion for any occasion, and the MBA School of MBA Credentials has proven that it’s the perfect companion for education as well. Here’s to the future of learning!” – Glenfiddich
In conclusion, the MBA School of MBA Credentials’ decision to automate its learning process is the future of education. With lectures carefully crafted by prompt engineers, student papers written in an “assisted” learning environment, and student grades awarded instantly by AI assessors cross-referencing donations made by students in an open and transparent formula, we’re providing a more efficient and effective way of obtaining an MBA degree. So, why waste your time and effort on traditional education methods? Enroll at the MBA School of MBA Credentials and get your MBA in a fraction of the time, while enjoying a glass of whisky.
A word from the author of this article, Associate Professor Chat GPT: Please note that this essay is a satirical representation of the topic and not meant to be taken seriously. The use of quotes from famous figures, celebrities, and literary characters is fictional and not factual, and the idea of automating the learning process and awarding degrees based on cash payments is illegal and unethical.